Dr. Cheri Erdman, Celebrant

Serving Greater Daytona Beach Area, Volusia County, and Central Florida

Going Beyond Cards, Candy and Flowers

by Dr. Cheri Erdman, Celebrant
Originally Printed in
The Island Voice
January/February 2008

February is the month of love with reminders everywhere that Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. Regardless of what commercials promote, historically Valentine’s Day is about all love, not just romantic love. This means that everyone can participate in celebrating his or her love for others, even those who are currently not in a romantic relationship.

 Have you ever wanted to honor your loved ones in unique and unusual ways, but didn’t know how? Going beyond cards, candy and flowers takes time and doing something that really speaks to what your heart feels takes inspiration.

 My suggestion is that this year you create a simple ceremony that speaks your love with symbols and rituals as well as words.

 Since Valentine’s Day is about all love you can create a ceremony to honor those you care for – your best friend, your parents, your children, your aunts and uncles – well, you get the idea!

How do you create a simple ceremony? As a Celebrant, I create ceremonies all the time – it’s what I have been trained to do. So I’ll share a few guiding principles that might help you get your creative juices flowing.

• Pick a place to have your ceremony that has meaning to you and set a specific time for being together. If you proposed on the beach going back to renew your vows makes sense. If you and your children love going fishing, then returning to that place will bring meaning to your day. If your aunt took you to art fairs, then go together again, or go to an art museum.

• Bring objects to your site that symbolically represents your relationship: a photograph of the fish you caught together, a seashell picked up from the beach, a piece of art from your beloved aunt. Then create a space for these things on a table or blanket or shelf, maybe with some hand-picked flowers. Ask your loved one to bring some objects too. This creates a space for being together and for what you plan to share together.

• Look for poems or other writing that captures your feelings, or better yet, write a poem yourself, or a love letter from your heart. This is always more meaningful than a store-bought card.

• Tell stories to each other, share memories, laugh, cry, hug, toast each other, connect. This is what Valentine’s Day is about: your loving relationship with each other. Spending quality time together in a meaningful way that only you can create because only you know the essence and secrets of that relationship is incredibly special

Store-bought cards will do in a pinch; candy gets eaten often with regret later; and flowers fade and die. This year create a lasting and cherished memory with a simple ceremony straight from your heart.

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